The Beginning of the Miracle

            I felt happy as I sat in the grass on that summer evening.  I had missed these Sunday evening get-togethers with Andrew’s siblings and cousins, and it was nice to be back, having lived hundreds of miles away for several years. 

            That particular evening, I sat with my Sister-in-law, Mandy-Marie, and other relatives, as she shared her latest life-changing experiences. 

I had looked up to Mandy-Marie from the time I met her. From parenting advice and books, to Bed-and-Breakfast recommendations for much needed marriage getaways, she was my mentor—someone who walked life’s paths just a few steps ahead of me, and succeeded.

That night, I listened intently as Mandy-Marie explained how, over the last few years, she had been seeking natural ways to treat Depression.  She had learned about gut-health, something we had talked about before.  Altering her diet to fit her body’s needs had gone a long way in managing Depression, but there was still something missing.  She explained how, while attending a seminar, she had found the last piece of the healing puzzle. 

Something awoke inside of me.  Ten years had passed since I was diagnosed with Major Depression.  I struggled with it’s symptoms off and on since I was a teenager, and finally sought professional help around my twenty-third birthday.

At this time I do not think it’s necessary to share the details of my own battle with depression; if you haven’t experienced it yourself, chances are you have witnessed someone close to you who has.  It isn’t pretty, and unfortunately can be a tragic battle.  Suffice it to say, I, like so many others, battled the Depression Monster.

Seven months of therapy and anti-depressant medication proved an effective treatment.  I returned to a fulfilling, happy life, married a wonderful man and started a family.  The next decade passed with only occasional depressive episodes. I felt lucky that my body responded so quickly and positively to medication.  I did not experience side-effects, and I was quite content to keep taking medication for the rest of my life.

Then, that summer evening, as I listened to my Sister-in-law speak with power and confidence, I felt a longing for something more.  What was it?  I could not figure it out right away.  She had something that I didn’t.  Something.  It wasn’t about medicine.  I was quite calm and happy with the medicine I took.  But she had something else that my body ached for.  She spoke with confidence and Power.  She had a sense of…Freedom!  That was it. I knew that’s what I longed for: Freedom.

Freedom from what?

That was the question that consumed my thoughts for the following days.  Exactly What was I seeking Freedom from?

Days turned into weeks, and I found myself struggling with yet another Depressive Episode.  Sadness and discouragement prevailed in my thoughts.  I felt tired.  I dragged through each day.  I knew the familiar symptoms.  I faithfully took my medication, without relief. 

Once again I found myself at Mandy-Marie’s house one evening. Like so many others battling Depression, I hid my symptoms in public.  I put on an obligatory smile and contributed to seemingly shallow conversation. Then, in a private moment, she asked how I was doing. Tears poured from my eyes as the ache in my heart burst.

“I’m having another episode,” I confessed.  I couldn’t even identify the trigger this time.  Looking back, I believe that depressive episode was one of God’s Tender Mercies so I could have the conversation that followed:

Mandy-Marie led me to a room where we could talk privately.  She opened the scriptures and shared with me a story I had read more than a dozen times.  It’s a story about a small group of righteous people who were discovered by wicked men.  The wicked men enslaved them and placed heavy burdens on their backs.  As the righteous people raised their voices in prayer to God, He heard their prayers, and gave them strength to bear their burdens with ease.

But the story didn’t end there.  Finally, a day came when God decided to deliver his people from their oppressors.  He caused the wicked men to fall into a deep sleep.  The righteous people escaped, and after traveling several days in the wilderness came to a land where a good king and his people welcomed them. Those who had been delivered lifted up their voices in praise of God, who had delivered them.

Suddenly I saw my battle with Depression in a new light.  I was still its slave.  Up to this point, God had eased my burden with medication.  Oh, how I was grateful for that ease! But perhaps that was not how God intended my story to end; here was my friend and mentor, suggesting that maybe it was time to be delivered from the monster which held me captive. Perhaps my journey was not just to endure the burden until life’s end; perhaps God desired to heal me so that I could testify of his goodness and power.

Then she shared with me the first tool I needed to begin the healing journey.
(To be continued...)
(Note...I realize my last post was titled, "The First Tool."  To avoid confusion with this and the next few posts, I have changed the title to "Fortify Your Mind" It is not a continuation of this discussion.)