An opportunity!

To those who read my blog: This weekend I am attending the same seminar that, three years ago, got me started on the road to healing from depression. The information and skills I received at this seminar are invaluable to me, not just because they helped me heal from depression, but because they have helped me in every aspect of life, including financial success and family strengthening. Often at these seminars, students receive an offer to invite friends to the next one at a discounted rate. If you are interested in attending "Master Your Influence" in February (In Salt Lake City), I would love to share this opportunity with you! Please send me an email at thenattymomblog@gmail.com and I will give you the details when I receive them! (To learn more about Kirk Duncan and his classes, visit 3keyelements.com).

Imprisoned!

“Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead.”

Pink, Perfect

One morning, not too long ago, I stood in the shower, relishing the hot water massage on my head.  I thought about all of the things I do to maintain my mental health (which I will share in the next few posts).  It occurred to me that if other people knew about all of my habits, they might think I was crazy.  I laughed as I realized that it’s all the crazy stuff I do that keeps me sane!

            Today I will stray from my typical narration and present this tool straight out.  With pictures.  Do you want to get rid of the negative voices in your head that keep trying to tear you down, or ruin your relationships, or hold you back from success? Go invest in a spiral-bound notebook; you know the type—they go on sale for 15 cents at grocery stores in the month of August. Make it black, because this is your Dot-People Prison.  

Open up to the first page and draw a line, vertically (hot-dog bun style) down the middle.

On the left side of the page, write down the voices.  Just for now, stick to the ten most persistent negative thoughts that go through your head every day.  Here is the key:  To get a voice out of your head, you must put it down on paper. I know it sounds simplistic, but it really is that easy.  The hardest part is just doing it, because there is a voice that says, “It’s too easy.  It won’t work.” Or, “I’ll do it later.” “I’m too tired.”  Etcetera. Just give it a try!

 

Now, a negative voice is a liar.  Those evil foes do not want you to know the real truth about you, so they try to convince you the opposite is valid.  Look at the first negative thought you wrote down.  On the right side of your paper, across from that negative thought, write down it’s opposite: for example, if the negative thought is “I am worthless,” then the opposite is, “I am valuable.”  But don’t stop there; for each negative voice, write down two positives:  “I am Valuable” and “I am of infinite worth.”

Do this for each of the ten negative voices.

Now, read through each sentence you wrote on the right side of your paper. If you listen closely, you can hear the messages of truth that your Higher Power is whispering to you.  Read your list again, out loud. Do it every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to bed.

May I share one experience I had using this tool?  For most of my adult life, I believed I was ugly. Sure, I could spruce myself up and look pretty, sometimes, but I was convinced that, in general I was an unattractive person.  When I looked in the mirror, I heard voices, disguised as my thoughts, pointing out every “ugly” feature on my body; “I am fat”. “My hair is thin and stringy.” “I have acne.” “My nose is too big.” “My skin is blotchy.” And so on. There seemed no end to the list of things I should hate about my body. 

Can you imagine what that did to my marriage? If my husband complimented me, “You look beautiful,” I either thought he was a fool or he wanted something from me.  This led to, “He doesn’t really think I’m beautiful, he only wants me for my body.”  Which led to, “He doesn’t really care about me.” Then I started resenting him; "The only reason he is washing dishes is to get something from me later." I was angry at him for things he never did! It’s a vicious, downward spiral, ultimately ruining wonderful marriages when remained un-checked.

When I finally learned where the thoughts contributing to this vicious spiral came from, I imprisoned them in my black spiral notebook, replaced them all with positive statements, and declared them out loud until I believed them. “I am beautiful.  My husband sees my beauty.  He loves me for who I am. He cares about me. I am important to him.”  These statements were true all along, but I was blinded to the truth because I had listened to the same negative voices, over and over, for years.  

Now that I don't hear those voices anymore, I accept my husband's compliments gratefully.  I believe him when he tells me I am beautiful.  I believe that he sincerely loves and cares about me.  I trust him. I feel safe and comfortable with him. We are happier than we have ever been.

Once in a while one of those old negative thoughts pops into my head.  Do you want to know what I do, then?  I tell it to “Get Lost!”  I now know that those thoughts do not come from me or my Higher Power, and I refuse to listen. I have a wonderful marriage. I have self-confidence. I am starting to see myself as my Higher Power sees me.

I learned this tool three years ago, and I still have my black notebook.  I still use it to imprison negative voices. So far I have imprisoned over 250, and I’m sure I’ll be able to imprison another 250 in the next three years!

How many negative voices are in your head? How do they affect your self-confidence?  Your relationships?  Your family?  Your success?

What would happen if you got rid of those voices?  There's an easy way to do it. Are you willing to give it a try?

 "And his servants came near, and spake unto him, and said My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? How much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash and be clean?" 2 Kings 5:13

"O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way..." Alma 37:46